09 October, 2008

Time to reflect

Its been a year to the day that a huge part of my family left us forever. Try as I might I can't not think about it. So much has happened since then, so many things that they would have loved to see. My sister is going to have a baby in January, but they wont be here to hold her and shower affection on the newest member of their family. My great grandma would have loved to hold her first great-great grandchild and my great uncle could have showered her with affection. But they are gone, and all we can do is take comfort in the knowledge that maybe they are watching over us, standing beside us through this hard time and giving us their strength. I think the hardest thing has been trying to help my grandma through this, knowing that there is nothing I can say to make it easier for her to bear the lose of her favorite brother. I can tell that it is taking all of her willpower not to breakdown and scream and cry today. Losing great grandma was easier on her, easier on all of us, because she was 94 and had lived a long full life. But Uncle D was supposed to come home to Colorado to be with his family before he passed away. He had cancer so we knew it was going to happen one day, but we thought he was going to be here with the family when it happened, not alone in the hospital in Reno. No matter what today is going to be a hard day for our family. The most we can do is be there for each other, and know that each day, month, and year will get easier. This one is just hard because its the first.