It is becoming ever more apparent that some of my closest friends no longer wish to speak to me. I say this with a fair amount of certainty simply because after months and months of sending emails and calling and texting, I have heard nothing back....not a single thing. It is devistating for me to have to accept that these people have written me out of their lives completely. They were some of my best and closest friends and for some reason they no longer want me to be part of their lives. I think this is more distressing to me than I ever would have imagined because I am fiercely loyal to my friends...always. It takes a unique type of person to tolerate me for any lengeth of time so when I find the people that I can get along with I make truely strong friendships. And now it would seem that two of them have come crumbling down, and I didn't even realize they were breaking.
You might think that this proves that we weren't that close of friends to begin with, but that would be completely untrue. They were my sisters, my roommates, my confidants. The last time we talked I thought things were still okay, doing great with one of them actually, and then nothing...no communication.
It is awful that people who I was so close to for so many years could be upset with me and not talk to me about it. That they could just one day pretend that we had never been a part of each others lives. It feels like a part of myself, a part of my soul is missing without them. They were a part of my life, and I miss them terribly. I just hope that they can forgive me, or at least talk to me again...one day.
About Me
- Rachel
- Things I like: Good books, black and white photos, poetry, art, white wine, riding horses and motorcycles, photography, friends, good eye contact, WWII history, and roses. Things I don't like: People who think they have all the answers, liars, most red wine, my food touching, and peas.
1 comment:
Give it time, not just some time but maybe 1 or 2 years...your blog is exactly what I've had to go thru, My situation was a wake-up call for myself and my mind and soul. And thru all this time that I didn't speak to my friends, I eventually 'matured', or had an epithany, or realization, after ralizing that I no longer had no one to go to or be myself genuinly arround with....very emtpy lonliness...Now I am patching up with the few friends that are still around, and willing to do so as well....its a long road, but the road eventually ends to greater things. Most imporantly as of now and for the time being, focus on YOU, your body, mind, soul. Get out and volunteer, or try to become smart in a random topic that may interest you, or go hire a personal trainer and change your body for the better day by day, which in turn, makes you feel great which gives you a totally new perspectice perhaps at life
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