Life is a Journey

Seperation Anxiety

2009-07-06T15:18:00.003-06:00

So its official. Today my little brother joined the ranks of the United States Army. My parents dropped him off at the recruiters office this afternoon at 1:00 pm. He will stay at a hotel of their choosing tonight and then tomorrow fly off to Georgia for training until November sometime. We had his going away party on the 4th of July - which was cool for him because his party got to include fireworks - but brutal having to say goodbye to him. My whole family is impossibly close. I talk to my little brother nearly every day, and he was only an hour away if we wanted to hang out or visit. To have that end so abruptly is really hard to deal with. Everyone's first response is to tell me not to worry about him, that they are beginning to pull troops out of Iraq etc...when in reality it isn't really that that I am worried about. I literally just dont want him to be all the way in Georgia. Ah well, I suppose my situation isn't unique. It probably isn't easy for any sibling to see their brother or sister leave for the service - or parent for that matter - but it seems all the harder because we are so close now. Anyway just thought I would vent to get a little bit of it out. Hope my mom does okay today, she will definitely be drinking tonight though ;-)

Hell hath frozen over

2009-05-21T16:02:00.004-06:00

Well now that all of the important people have been told, not to say that you aren't all important (actually I think there are only 6 people that check this and they already know lol), but family and friends come first heehee. So here it is, despite all my planning and precautions, and probably against God's plan lol, I am going to be a mom. Yup me, the one who has always said that she was never going to have kids, is pregnant. We found out last week, I am 7 weeks (almost 8) and the estimated due date is January 7th. Mostly the information and reality is still sinking in, Caleb is so excited he can barley contain himself. While I have not reached quite that level yet, the idea is slowly becoming a reality and its is easier for me to be excited about it. So ya...hooray for a great big new update lol. Hope everyone elses' lives are much less eventful. Have a great Memorial day weekend!

New Toy

2009-04-30T10:23:00.002-06:00

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. My birthday was last week, and my entire family chipped in to help me purchase my brand new toy!!! On Friday i will be the proud owner of a Canon Rebel XTi. I have wanted a canon rebel all of my picture taking life, and now I will finally have one. It is being shipped to me as we speak and I am following the FedEx tracking number like a fiend. I also purchased several new lenses as well as a camera case. I will officially have a "real" camera! I am also going to put it to good use. Last year I took my little brother's senior pictures, and now that his graduation announcments have gone out I have 4 other people to take senior pictures for next year! Hooray!!! If anyone needs pictures taken for any specific reason (family pictures, senior pictures, whatever) let me know!!! :-)

Defender of the sister

2009-02-20T14:02:00.002-07:00

So I have started playing Halo 3 quiet a bit lately. My younger brother, brother in law, boyfriend, and several guy friends have it so its a fun way to do things together despite the distance. Usually we party up so that no one can hear what we are saying outside of our little group of players, however, lately we have been leaving out mics open. This has creating an interesting reaction toward me. Usually all the other guys immediately start telling me how sexy I sound, and asking for my name etc...honestly it just proves how starved they are for attention, I sound just like every one else. They also all assume that I am blonde. Why is this people?! Anyway, lately the response to my presence in the game has been more derogatory.
So last night all of us are on (8 of us total) and we are getting ready to start a match and I said something over the mic...I don't even remember what is was. And this random guy just goes off. Calling me an f-ing bitch and, well it just got worse. So my younger brother (he is 18) gets totally pissed. I think he was more upset about it than I was. The idiot guy and my brother ended up on a team and my lil bro spent the entire time killing him (in the game) and yelling at him for disrespecting me. It was awesome!!!
My twin sis and I are the oldest kids in the family, so we never had a big brother to be our "protector." After last night I think I know what it would have been like to have a big brother.
Moral of the story - guys don’t talk shit to girls on video games unless you want to get yourself ganged up on in game, and then get booted off for violating the code of conduct rules!

My Niece!!!

2009-01-02T14:17:00.002-07:00

My twin sis just had her baby. She was born on 12/30 at 12:04 pm. Her name is Kiari and we are all completely smitten! I will load lots of pictures soon!!

Time to reflect

2008-10-09T11:43:00.003-06:00

Its been a year to the day that a huge part of my family left us forever. Try as I might I can't not think about it. So much has happened since then, so many things that they would have loved to see. My sister is going to have a baby in January, but they wont be here to hold her and shower affection on the newest member of their family. My great grandma would have loved to hold her first great-great grandchild and my great uncle could have showered her with affection. But they are gone, and all we can do is take comfort in the knowledge that maybe they are watching over us, standing beside us through this hard time and giving us their strength. I think the hardest thing has been trying to help my grandma through this, knowing that there is nothing I can say to make it easier for her to bear the lose of her favorite brother. I can tell that it is taking all of her willpower not to breakdown and scream and cry today. Losing great grandma was easier on her, easier on all of us, because she was 94 and had lived a long full life. But Uncle D was supposed to come home to Colorado to be with his family before he passed away. He had cancer so we knew it was going to happen one day, but we thought he was going to be here with the family when it happened, not alone in the hospital in Reno. No matter what today is going to be a hard day for our family. The most we can do is be there for each other, and know that each day, month, and year will get easier. This one is just hard because its the first.

Should have been inside

2008-08-25T10:12:00.003-06:00

Yes I realize that I probably should have been inside, but who could pass up a chance to take pictures of a tornado that is right across the street from your house...

Non city living

2008-07-14T09:09:00.002-06:00

This weekend was very entertaining. we spent quite a bit of time working on our new deck, and construction at home is always a joy. Pandora (yup that is officially her name now) had some very interesting experiences.
We have two cement deer (a buck and a doe) and two cement fawns under a really big spruce tree at the house. These two are very lifelike, and we keep them there to attract more deer into the yard. Well Pandora decided she was full of piss and vinegar this weekend so she spent a lot of time rocketing around the 4 acres that our house is on. Well for the first time she came in contact with the cement deer. I have never seen a dog put on the brakes from a full run like that. She stopped so fast she ended up doing a summersault. Once she got her feet under her again she was completely frozen in place. She stood there staring at these deer for at least 5 minutes before letting out one of her big girl howls (which always scares her), running forward to knock over one of the fawns, then came charging back up to the house in an absolute panic. It was hilarious.
My cousin also managed to capture an injured adolescent pigeon in our neighbors hay loft. So now we have a pigeon pet staying with us for another couple of weeks. She is amazingly tame, however she is driving the dogs absolutely bonkers...they are all hunting dogs, and having a pigeon that cant fly away that close is torture to them.
My sister's wedding is rapidly approaching, only 3 more weeks. I have firmly decided that weddings are too much work, and always stress people out no matter how simply you profess it is going to be. I think I will just run away.

The Unexplained

2008-06-30T08:49:00.003-06:00

It is becoming ever more apparent that some of my closest friends no longer wish to speak to me. I say this with a fair amount of certainty simply because after months and months of sending emails and calling and texting, I have heard nothing back....not a single thing. It is devistating for me to have to accept that these people have written me out of their lives completely. They were some of my best and closest friends and for some reason they no longer want me to be part of their lives. I think this is more distressing to me than I ever would have imagined because I am fiercely loyal to my friends...always. It takes a unique type of person to tolerate me for any lengeth of time so when I find the people that I can get along with I make truely strong friendships. And now it would seem that two of them have come crumbling down, and I didn't even realize they were breaking.
You might think that this proves that we weren't that close of friends to begin with, but that would be completely untrue. They were my sisters, my roommates, my confidants. The last time we talked I thought things were still okay, doing great with one of them actually, and then nothing...no communication.
It is awful that people who I was so close to for so many years could be upset with me and not talk to me about it. That they could just one day pretend that we had never been a part of each others lives. It feels like a part of myself, a part of my soul is missing without them. They were a part of my life, and I miss them terribly. I just hope that they can forgive me, or at least talk to me again...one day.

Confessions

2008-06-20T13:51:00.004-06:00

Today feels like a good day for confessions. Things that I think are burdening my soul. So here are a few confessions on a Friday afternoon:
1) I have Aqua on my iPod, and its not just one or two songs, its like two albums. I know this will probably paint a big red x on me socially, but I have to get it out there to begin the healing process. Accept the fact that I like Aqua, and no matter how socially unacceptable it is I am going to continue to sing along at the top of my lungs (while safely contained in my car so no one else must suffer).
2) Another musical confession: the Spice Girls. All songs, all on my iPod, every song listened to daily. Slowly I am coming to terms with my bizarre musical tastes.
3) Odd OCD tendancies (this isn't a major confession to some people who actually know me). My small OCD tendancies are becoming more and more prevelant and they manifest in very strange situations. I have all of my lotion arranged by smell then by name alphabetically (I also have my movies and cd's alphabetized), however, the same system does not apply to my hundreds of books, which are arranged haphazardly on several bookcases. I think its more fun when they aren't arranged perfectly its like a little treasure hunt. No idea why my OCD applies to some things and not others.
4) I still have all of my old stuffed animals...all of them. Dont kid yourselves that this is some minascule number, my sis and I got dozens and dozens of them when we were little. I just can't bear to part with them...hey I dont want to be totally friendless and alone.
5) I dont like my food to touch. Ever. No idea why, there is just something very off putting about it. If one food group touches another on I am not eating that part. End of story.

Ahhh I feel so much better now. It is so nice to finally get those things out there, free them from my subconscious so that I can get back to reality. Heehee. Have a great weekend!

New Family Member!

2008-06-04T14:37:00.005-06:00

I have a new family member...she is 11 weeks old, and so cute its ridiculous. Her name is still in limbo, but right now it is Pandora.

Loving Colorado

2008-05-01T13:26:00.003-06:00

I have lived in Colorado all my life and I will never get tired of the constant surprise that is Colorado weather. When we say if you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes and it will change...we mean it. Granted that might be a small exaggeration (sometimes) usually you have to wait 24 hours. Perfect example, it was 75 degress here today. Beautiful day, no wind, cloudless sky, a perfect late Spring day. Today it is 40 degrees and there's about 2 inches of snow on the ground. I had to laugh at one of the girls that I work with when she ended up in a skirt today because she put all of her winter clothes in storage and froze today...silly girl, but she has only been in Colorado about 4 months so she still has some excuse heehee.
The weather here always leaves you guessing and wondering what will come next. That's how you can tell Colorado natives from everyone else. I wore sandals today, fully aware that is was going to snow and be chilly, because in all reality 40 isnt that cold, and it is entirely possible that when I leave work in 3 hours the sun will be shining and it will be 60 which is perfect sandal weather. And really there is nothing cooler than my flower bed full of tulips covered in snow and they are still happy and loving life!

And the Winner is

2008-04-28T16:05:00.002-06:00

ME! Well us really. And by us I mean my team at work. And by winner(s) I mean we just won a Nike + challenge against our partner company, a race to 500 miles, and we won!!!! If you don't know what Nike + is I am not going to explain it here, you should Google it though cause its good stuff. It is amazing what an efficient team builder that was. We interacted more, spent more time together trying to log in as many miles as we could, and it gave us a chance to understand each other's sense of humor a little more. Now my boss knows that I am just encouraging him to log more miles when I tell him he might have eaten a little too much for lunch, or that his feat look swollen from dis-use. Cause really I am that way. I have a cruel sense of humor sometimes and I don't always feel the need to hold it back. Next example, one of my co-workers (there are about 700 of them so this is actually a fairly vague description) came to work with not one but three hickey's on his neck. I have affectionately nicknamed him "hoe tag" because that's what a hickey is and he is basically one big hickey at the moment. I think this is hilarious, and even he is amused by it...however one of my friends thinks that its very cruel. Oh well...I think its funny so I will continue to call him hoe tag, after all it is better than tramp stamp. And now for something completely different....
My friend bitch #1 just left for the carribean to see her husband for two weeks (its a really long story) and a funny thing happened to her which I feel honor bound to relate to the blog reading world at large. Bitch #1 experienced every fliers worst nightmare...she got off of the plane and her luggage did not. For most travelers this is not the end of the world...you go to walmart and get some cheap stuff to tide you over until your luggage finds it way back to you. This was not a luxery she had. The Dominican Republic (oh yea that's where she is at in the carribean) is not famous for it plethera of Walmart locations so this made her situation slightly more interesting. I can only imagine the trepidation at facing what might be several days in the same sweaty travel clothes with no bathing suit (she did actually break down and buy a new one there...I'm sure none of them were as cute as the 8 she packed in her now lost suitcase). Her next little lovely surprise is that her hubby was not waiting at the airport to pick her up as he was supposed to be. She hasn't seen him since January, and sort of has this proclivity for things going her way, so i can only imagine how she greeted this little treasure of news. Turns out Hubby got "plucked" out of the customs area, questioned, and then held by customs because he didn't know where he was staying on the island. Seriously...he has been there for 4 months and he doesn't know where he is staying, perhaps it was best that Bitch#1 had to find her own way...clearly he didn't know where he was going either.
Once Bitch #1 found Hubby they did some sight seeing and some clothes buying only to come back and find her suitcase waiting for them. It too had been "plucked" from its correct place on the airplane for inspection (perhaps there is something funny about these two that the government knows and I just haven't picked up on....hmmmm). However, I feel I know why her suitcase was "plucked" from the plane. Bitch #1 and Hubby were only married about 2 weeks before he had to leave to go to the Dominican, they have not seen each other in 4 months, and Bitch #1 has been to Fascinations a couple of times aquiring new toys (also if you don't know what Fascinations is I suggest you Google it...or just don't ask...you might not want to know). I told her repeatedly not to leave the batteries in, to either keep them in a seperate pocket or just get new ones when she gets there. I can just imagine her forgetful self forgetting to take out the batteries, the plane hitting turbulence and 3 or 4 or her new toys firing up at once and nearly shaking the plane to pieces....yea I would have pulled the bag off the plane to. And even if that isn't why they really did it (which it probably wasn't) it is a much more entertaining story than her bag just being randomly picked out of a Samsonite line up. That's my version of the story and I'm sticking to it!!

And Counting...

2008-04-14T16:43:00.002-06:00

My birthday is next Monday!!! Yes, I still get excited about my birthday (I will only be 25, I don't think thats too old be have a fun birthday). No I don't feel ashamed about telling people about it, its the day I was born if you can't be excited about that what can you be excited about?! Yes, I am planning my own festivities for that day, its my birthday and I want to do something fun, its too much to ask other people to try to guess what will make me happy that day. So if I know you and you would like to partake in the birthday fun let me know, and if I don't know you and you would like to partake in the birthday fun let me know!!!! LOL.

Today

2008-03-25T20:15:00.002-06:00

I sat outside today, just to let the breeze touch my face.
Today was a day without a jacket, and without the cloudy gloom of winter.
It would be nice for time to just slip away
To sit and watch and listen, until I can't remember where I started.
To escape the time when I feel like a prisoner to my phone, and my computer.
I wish for that, and yet here I sit, the light of the screen on my face instead of the sun,
Why is that, is there really nothing more important that demands my time.
I can hear the whisper of Spring, its just outside but there is no way to reach it.
Perhaps it means nothing, just the restlessness of a Winter ending and a Spring within sight
Hopefully it is the beginning of a great adventure,
Something new and different on the horizon.
If it is will I be ready to face it, ready to accept it for all the wonderful things it is?
Or will I spend the time wishing I had my computer, or cell phone signal.
I hope not....things are so much better than that.

Your Honor

2008-02-13T16:45:00.003-07:00

Well its official. Today at about noon I became the Mayor of our time. I was mayor pro-tem, but our mayor resigned her position today so I get moved up to interium mayor until we can have an election. Yea its weird...but I had to share it with the blogger world...or whoever actually reads this lol. Mayor at 24 (25 in April not that it matters)...perhaps I should start thinking about running for a higher office ;-)

A little nothing

2008-02-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing to say in this post. But I feel duty bound to write a little something. My life really is fairly simple. I'm either at my house or my boyfriends, we watch movies a lot or I play video games. Every once in awhile we get a chance to play D&D with our friends (oh shut up, its a really good outlet for my over active imagination), and on Sundays we will go out and have paintball wars.
These little outings, loading up a couple of boxes of paintballs, a few full CO2 canisters and our guns and going out into Blackforest to have mini-wars, have been the most exciting thing to happen lately. Granted it has been a lot of fun. I'm the only girl that will go to war with them, and most of the time I'm one of the last ones standing. I've never really realized how nice it was to be female during things like that. We were playing a game of capture the flag, 3 on 3, and my teammate Dale and I were pinned down right next to the flag in some trees. All of a sudden Dale yelled beside me (scared the hell out of me too). "Holy shit he shot me right in the ball!" and he collapsed. Now I haven't kicked a guy in the baby maker since I was about 11, so I forgot how violently guys react to that. He rolled around on the ground for about 5 minutes and then crawled behind a tree and was sick. I was giving him a ration of shit for being a baby, until I got hit in the neck and it gave me a welt the size of my fist. Then I knew how he felt...well kind of felt, I'm sure getting one of your balls tagged by a paintball propelled by CO2 hurts a little bit more.
I've been a tomboy as long as I can remember. I had barbies but they spent a lot of time umm with GI Joe lol. They also had their feet melted to lightbulbs. I'm really not so different now. I hate pink, I dont wear dresses, and my boss says I have a very male attitude or point of view toward pretty much everything. So its with great consternation that I realize how girly I am in my relationship. His birthday was last week, and I promised to cook him whatever he wanted for dinner, and bake him a cake. Which I did...and I had fun. That's just wrong. Don't get me wrong I like to cook, but usually it isn't my first thought for someone's birthday. My idea of a good birthday for someone (other than the actual present) is great sex and pizza (no not at the same time). Then I found myself at the grill doing up two steaks and a couple of ears of corn on the cob (frozen corn on the cob is just not as good in case you were wondering) making rolls and scalloped potatoes and getting everything ready to make cake. It was frightfully domestic...and girly. Yuck. But it seems that girly moments are just going to happen every once in awhile now, all I can do is accept it and try not to draw to much attention to it if I dont' have to.
Ah well....such is life.

What a waste

2007-12-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

Its the day after Christmas and my office is a tomb, literally I've seen 10 people here today out of about 400 that work in my building. Seriously, is there a purpose for being here today. On the up side i get to go home early, so I guess I can't complain to much.
How was your Christmas? No really, give it some thought. Was it everything you'd hoped for, or where you sadly disappointed? Why do you feel that way? I love Christmas. I know some people have let the growing commercialization of the holidays jade their view of the festivities, but I stubbornly refuse to let that happen to myself. Granted Christmas Eve was a partial disaster, but that's largely due to one particular individual in my family...we will call her the stepmonster. She always manages to ruin at least one holiday by being hateful and nasty to either my sister or I, and this year she so graciously picked Christmas, and also targeted me for most of her spiteful hateful commentary, which I appreciate ever so much. My dad remains completely oblivious to her behavior but he's about the only one, so it manages to make everyone else tense, uncomfortable and irritable. She's like a hemrroid really....perhaps I will start calling her hemrroid, heehee I like that. However, after that painful event the rest of the holiday was superb! I got some really excellent gifts, and everyone was really pleased with what I had given them. Even though we didn't manage to get liquored up and play cards we still had a really good time.
My friend Bitch #1 got married, the ceremony was completely beautiful, and we all had so much hairspray in our hair that coming within 2 feet of any open flame had the potential to be highly regretable. My favorite part was one of our bridesmaid presents. All 5 of us, and the bride rocked out some 80's style leg warmers! Laugh if you will, but they were completely fantastic! They even matched our dresses, which makes them that much better, we were even inspired to do a really terrific redition of one of the dances from Flashdance (its a movie...go out and rent it).
December has been a really good month. Soon it will be January, and we will begin the tedious journey through another year. Well might as well look forward to the great things to come. Cheers!!

Christmas Time

2007-12-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Last night was a Christmas spirit sort of night. I put Miracle on 34th Street in, gathered my wraping paper supplies and presents and sat infront of the tree and did some wraping. Every once in awhile I caught myself staring at the tree. The silver, gold, and crystal of the ornaments catching and relecting the lights of the tree, making it sparkle and dance with light. It amazes me how much the sight of my Christmas tree twinkling in the dark can still fill my heart with hope. When I was little the tree always entranced me. Its presance in our house meant that everyone was usually happy, and that good things were just around the corner. No matter how awful anything else was, Christmas was always a good time of year, it was always something happy. Things have changed quite a bit since I was a little girl watching the lights on the tree, but the feeling seems to be the same. Its comforting to know that there are still things in my life that I carry from childhood, symbols of joy and hope and expectation that can still resonate with my soul. To know that the "real world" hasn't jaded me so much that the soft twinkle of Christmas lights can still touch my heart.

Its either that...or I just really like getting presents. Heehee, I'd like to think that its both.

Programers are funny

2007-12-04T15:21:00.001-07:00

I got this error message while I was reviewing upcoming ads when I tried to view an ad from yesterday. This just proves that programers (well some of them) actually do have a sense of humor.

Preview time is before current time. Traveling back in time, thoughtheoretically permitted by the theory of general relativity, is not permitted in this context.Please adjust time to after 4:07:41 PM.

SO EARLY!!!

2007-11-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

Black Friday is not a favorite day. I don't understand why people would brave the crowds, and the insane traffic, just to get bashed around in a store they didn't really need anything from. As for me I'm sitting here at my desk at work...I've been here since 3 am monitoring and reviewing our online ads for Black Friday. There was no way I was going to be able to drag my ass out of bed after only a few hours of sleep I decided to just stay up. The realization is fast setting in that I am just too old for that type of shinnanigans. I'm very very tired. Perhaps I'll write more later. I need to try to focus on something to stay awake lol.

The women in my life

2007-11-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize that the title of this post might imply that I have some salacious lesbian gossip from a newly formed gay alter ego, but that isn't what this post is about (I like boys thank you very much!). This is actually about the females in my life that I have the privialge of calling dear friends, despite their weird tendancies. Let me lead you on an adventure into my friendships with them....(and no they are not in any particulare order of importance, actual there is no order at all)

Lets begin with Bitch #1. She and I have been friends for an indeterminate number of years...actually I think its something like 6 but I'm not entirely sure. We went to collage together, and associate with the same group of randomly geeky yet totally loveable group of friends. I am Bitch #2 to her Bitch #1. This is not arbitrary, there is a reason she is #1. We both have tempers, and we both have a vile and often cruel sense of humor. However, whereas I have the ability to control some of my mouthy, I'm trying to be a bitch tendancies, Bitch #1 has very little control...at all. Don't get me wrong, she does have directional control...if she wants to aim the bitchiness at you, make no mistake it will not go directionally flying out of control and land on some innocent bystander. It is impart because of this special bond of bitch-tastic goodness that we are friends. Our bitchiness makes us laugh. As an example we spent a good 30 minutes last night laughing so hard we were crying while talking about a house getting egged and the funny sounds marbles would make if you dump them into someone's gas tank. She's getting married soon and I get to be a bridesmaid, I guess that just proves that bitches of a feather flock together LOL.

Then there's my girl in Houston...just for fun we'll call her Houston. I've known Houston almost as long as I've known Bitch #1. We went to college together, and she is part of the geeky yet totally loveable group of friends. Its funny, while we were actually at school together we werent really super close. We hung out, but almost never just one on one. Actually I think the only thing we did just the two of us was our student loan exit seminar at the end of our senior year lol. We graduated and she moved back to the Springs. Then she moved again...to Hungary. Its amusing that the farther away she moved the closer friends we became. While she was overseas we talked nearly everyday. I knew her joys and sorrows of life over there, and she knew mine of living in Nebraska. I know now the great friend I missed out on all those years in college. She is the girl I can always convice to go on a shopping spree at Facsinations and have a great time playing with all the little gadgets ;-). We are both very random people who enjoy talking to each other in high born english accents for no apparent reason. Houston is also getting married soon...to a man she met in Hungary, but who was actually from Texas (see this is the kinda of randomness I'm talking about) and I get to be bridesmaid for that one too! It makes me sad that she lives so far away, but I have not given up yet! She'll be here in December and I'm going to kidnap her and make her get a job here! Ha take that Texas!!

Interesting little tidbit

2007-11-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

So funny thing happened last night. I got elected Mayor. Yea I know, weird right. Technically I'm mayor pro tem. Basically I will serve as Mayor if for any reason the current mayor is unable (out of time, busy, etc) or unwilling, which I have the feeling is going to be a lot. It's very odd. I'm only 24 and I'm an elected official. Next stop...white house baby!!! LOL, hey it could happen.

More to come when i can think of something more to write about.

All Hallow's Eve

2007-10-31T14:42:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween Everyone! Its always a fun day at work when Halloween falls in the middle of the week. My cube-mate and i have been decorating for the last two weeks, and today she made a cat litter cake! It was fantastically disgusting, and oh-so-tasty too! Hope everyone has a great day!

October

2007-10-25T16:02:00.000-06:00

This month has been an interesting journey. During the first two weeks of the month two very special and greatly loved peole in my family died. I loved them both very much and definitely wasn't ready lose either of them. But life is what it is and you have to learn to accept the temporary status with which we are all granted. Nothing is forever, and I just have to come to terms with that. I still get teary eyed thinking about them, what each of them brought to my life, and how my experiences with them helped shape me into the person I am today. I also found out that one of my friends from Nebraska passed away. She was only 26 and it was very sudden, she had stage 4 lung cancer that the doctors didn't detect until it was too late. But in all the sadness there were good things too. I got hired on as a permenant employee at my job. Nope, I wasn't permenant before...its a long story, but I am now and I'm really excited about that. And I've had Caleb by my side through the whole thing. Being in love with someone, truly in love, for the first time is a thrilling thing. He is my best friend, and has been there to comfort me through all of this miserable-ness, which I appreciate more than I could ever really tell him.

The year is flying by at a terrifying pace. Michelle's wedding is a little over a month away and Chelsea's wedding is exactly 6 months from today (that means that my half birthday was 4 days ago...for some reason I always send myself flowers on my half birthday...its a fun way to celebrate the mundane, guess I'll have to send myself belated flowers heehee). I've been back in Colorado for a little more than a year and I couldn't be happier about it. I missed everything here so much, and I'm glad I figured out where I belong...at least for the moment.

Well that is my little update on what's been going on here. I'll try to think of something funny or amusing to share soon, try to lighten things back up around here.

Goodbye may seem forever

2007-10-02T22:30:00.001-06:00

A good friend of mine told me today that you should celebrate the life of a loved one, not mourn their death. Although I'm not totally ready to embrace that theory yet, I need something to take my mind off of the sadness. I love my great grandma, she was an amazing person, and had one of the fiestiest German tempers of anyone I've ever met. I have so many good memories of her while I was growing up. So in an effort to focus on the happy times I will write a few of them here. Perhpas in the years to come I will be able to look back on this and smile and remember how much it helped me get through that first day.
Grandma Obie babysat my twin sister and I when we were little. It never failed that the second we walked in the door, and right before we left we would each get a lemon drop. It is because of her that I love those little candies so much. Grandma would always ask our mom's permission before giving us sweets and my sister and I were so proud of ourselves when we learned how to spell lemon drop by listening to her ask mom's permission. Our pride was short lived however, when we found out that "c a n d y" does not spell lemon drop.
She made us care bear costumes for halloween. She made each of them by hand, as she firmly believed that sewing machines were cheating. They had these huge heads with holes in the mouths were our faces showed through and "paws" to cover our hands and shoes. She even embrodiered a care bear symbol on the tummy of each outfit. I remember being so incredibly warm that halloween because those things were ridiculously well insulated heehee, but we were the only kids that didn't have to wear coats over our costumes that year. I still have my care bear costume, and one day I will be able to let one of my children wear it.
Her apartment complex had a game room. In the game room was a pool table that she would take us down to play with. We never got to use the cues (for obvious reasons that we were twins and sisters and would have used them to smack each other) but we had endless hours of fun shoving the balls into the pockets. And she would sit there with us, just letting us play as long as we wanted.
Grandma Obie always kept a big plastic molded bag...almost like a big plastic beach bag...full of toys in her closet in the apartment. There wasn't anything fancy in the bag, but those toys kept us out of her hair and out of trouble for as long as she would let us play with them. I still remember which closet door you had to go to to get the bag of toys.
My sister and I always called her Grandma Obie (her real first name is Martha and her last name is Oblander...but her husbands nickname was Obie so that's what she wanted us to call her). It always frustrated us so much that my cousins called her GG. We could never figure out why they called her that. It wasn't until we were about 7 or 8 that we realized that GG was short for Great Grandma, but we still didn't understand why they didn't just call her Grandma Obie like the rest of us. Hey I never said we weren't a tad self centered as children heehee.
There are a hundred other memories I could write down, a dozen more stories I could tell you about what she was like, and who she was. But those are the ones that always seem to come to my mind first. I am still sad that she's gone. She wont get to see either Chrissy or I get married, she wont be able to hold her first great great grandchild. All the things we had known she would always be there for will happen without her sitting there with us. I know she will always be watching over us, and it helps to know that she will still be there scolding us when we've done something wrong. That at least is some comfort. Things will get better, and it is nice to be able to smile some today. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

The Relentless march of Fall

2007-09-28T14:04:00.000-06:00

Fall is coming. Saying this out loud, or just typing it, makes me sad for the summer that has gone by. This summer had so much potential, so many opportunities for so many wonderful things and now it is all but gone. There is an elm tree in our parking lot at work. I look at it quite often as it is right outside my window. Today it seems to be yelling to remind me that the blissfully warm days of summer are drawing to a close. This message is displayed in the beautiful yet tragic changing of its leaves. The entire left side of the tree is yellow, while the right side remains a deep green. The middle is sort of a blend, a mottled transition between one season and the next. That really kind of sums up how I feel about today, a mottled transition between the week and the weekend. It makes for a very blah and kind of apathetic day really.

Then let amorous kisses dwell

2007-09-26T15:40:00.000-06:00

I really like this poem so I thought I would share. Catullus isn't nearly as appreciated as he should be...

Song 5 to Lesbia
~Gaius Valerius Catullus

Come and let us live my Deare,
Let us love and never feare,
What the sourest Fathers say;
Brightest Sol that dyes to day
Lives againe as blith to morrow,
But if we darke sons of sorrow
Set; O then how long a Night
Shuts the Eyes of our short light!
Then let amorous kisses dwell
On our lips, begin and tell
A thousand, and a Hundred score
A hundred, and a Thousand more,
Till another Thousand smother
That, and wipe off another.
Thus at last when we have numbered
Many a thousand, many a Hundred;
We'll confound the reckoning quite,
And lose our selves in wild delight;
While our joys so multiply,
As shall mock the envious eye.

Window seat please...

2007-09-21T15:04:00.000-06:00

Its moving day at work. About every two years or so they restructure positions within the company and give everyone a chance to pick a new job, and give almost everyone a new place to sit. Well I'm keeping my job, but getting a new place to sit. We work in cubicle land. Sure a lot of people have real offices with real doors, but most of us have to live happily ever after in our doorless, windowless little corners of the office.
My new cubicle has a window....a big one! Its almost sad how excited I am about this. And in all honesty I do have some right to be, getting a window is a big deal. Some of the other assistants have been here for 3-5 years and have never even come close to a window...even a view of a wall with a window in it.
So is it slightly pathetic that I'm excited about having a window as one whole wall of my cubicle...yes. Am I going to let that diminish my joy in the situation....nope I'm sure not!!!!

Sharing Silence

2007-09-10T14:34:00.000-06:00

I really enjoy having someone to share silence with. In nearly all of my relationships, whether they are friends, family, or boyfriends, it seems that there is always a constant need for noise, for interference to fill the space. It isn't a bad thing, mostly my friends and I just have a lot to say to each other so there is very little silence when we are together. I never really appreciated how nice it can be to just exist with someone else in the room. Without a need to babble, or talk, or make any noise at all, to just sit together. It rained last night while I was with Caleb. We were sitting on the couch, each reading our own book, commenting on parts we thought were interesting or silly, and it started to thunder. He put his arm around my shoulders and I laid my head against his chest and we just sat and listened to the storm. It was okay that we weren't talking, we just sat there and shared the sounds of the storm, and the comfortable silence that existed in the house. I never thought I would enjoy that so much, but there was something about just sitting there that was more meaningful than an hours worth of conversation.

I wasn't always okay with stuff like that. Until recently I was very much a "keep to yourself" kind of person. Don't get me wrong, I love going out with my friends, and being around people I enjoy, but mostly I just wanted to sit in my room, with a good book and a warm blanket and just be with myself. I attribute this largely to the fact that I had been single for 10 months...the longest stretch of time since I was in the 7th grade. I wanted, and needed, that time to become comfortable with me. I needed to get to know the Rachel that wasn't attached to a boy, that didn't have to worry about anyone's happiness but her own, that didn't have to make excuses for whatever guy she was dating. Some of that time was really hard on me, after having been in one relationship or another for so long it was really hard to get comfortable with the fact that I didn't have to have a boyfriend to complete my life. I missed loving someone, and having someone to love. But the more I looked at it, and thought about it, I don't think I ever really loved any of them. Don't get me wrong, I loved parts of their personality, I loved certain things about who they were, but I never really loved any of them for all that they were, or all that they weren't. I only loved the positive things but never loved who they were with flaws. And conversley I don't think any of them really loved me either. There was always something about me that wasn't enough, or wasn't good enough. Accepting that actually brought me a lot of peace about my direction in life in general. The last few months have been easier. I don't feel the need to seclude myself just to get away from everything. I don't feel odd hanging out with friends that are dating someone. It also allowed me to start this new relationship with fresh eyes, and a happier outlook. I am falling for his flaws just as much as I am falling for his perfections. Its such a nice change to be accepted for all the things that I am...but also for all the things that I will never be. I finally know what it really feels like to be happy in a relationship.

On a wholey unrelated side note, I found out this weekend that my ex has moved back to Colorado. This news entertains me a great deal. Mostly because a large reason I left in the first place was his all out flat refusal to ever move back to Colorado. Now I find out that not only did he move back, but he is living with his parents. It would seem that for all the lectures about his need to fulfill his dreams he never had the ambition to make that happen.

I always wondered

2007-09-04T16:19:00.000-06:00

In a rather random conversation this weekend I came up with a list of some of the things I always wanted to know...I share them with you now in hopes that someone out there will be able to answer one or two of them for me:

Why was Smurfette the only girl smurf? This question has plagued me since my childhood.

Why did the Jetsons still have highways in space...and traffic jams? Its space for crying-out-loud!

Another Jetsons question. When the policeman pulls you over in space he has an air helmet on much like astronauts wear now...but the bubble dome on George's car always just lifts right up. Why does the cop need an oxygen bubble, but the vacuum of space doesn't suck George's brain out of his ears without one?

Who gets to have vending machines in the white house...coke or pepsi? I wonder this because in the vast majority of buildings you have to pick one or the other. If this is how it works for the white house does the President get to pick which vendor gets to bring frosty beverages in?

Was bugs bunny a transvestite or was he really just messing with Elmer Fudd?

Does the fact that your finger fits perfectly in your own nose, but not nearly as well in someone elses' prove that there is a God...or does it just prove that we spend too much of our childhood with our fingers up our noses?

If anyone can provide any nuggets of wisom regarding these dilemas I would welcome them!!

Good Things Come...

2007-08-24T10:50:00.000-06:00

To those who wait. I can't tell you how many times I've been told that. That I need to be patient, that when I'm meant to have something it will find me and I need to stop pushing. I hated hearing that. Mostly it was because I didn't like being told to give up trying for the things that I want. I'm usually a "doer," if it isn't happening the way it should or not happening at all I try to find a way to make it. I hold fast to the belief that there is always something you can do to change your situation. However, nothing I was doing was making what I wanted happen, or making the non-existant situation better. Until I stopped trying. I just let it go. I will not even try to describe how incredibly difficult that was. That was about 3 weeks ago...I just quite trying. And wouldn't you know it, here I sit, with exactly what I worked for so many months to try to get, and I did nothing to make it happen...I just was. Its still very new, so clearly I'm still in the stupid happy phase, which I expect to wear off any day now lol, but i'm really hoping it doesn't. As much as I want to tell you about all the cute, seemingly insignificant stuff that goes on that makes it special I will refrain (for now lol), mostly because I know very few people who will read this will actually care. But for now lets just say that more than any piece of jewelry or expensive gift you can give a person, its the little gestures that you make every day that can truly make a person feel loved.

Calvin and Hobbes

2007-08-22T12:25:00.000-06:00

Sometimes its important not to worry about the little things...

Daily Horoscope

2007-08-20T13:22:00.000-06:00

Usually I read my horoscope every morning. I almost never put stock by it, but sometimes I just find it interesting. This is what mine said today: "Taurus: You may consider expressing a feeling that has been locked up, but it could bring up complex relationship issues that you would prefer to avoid for now. Even if you want to share a profound emotion, you might be conflicted about how much to reveal. Let logic be your guide for now and don't show too much until you are more comfortable. "
This got me thinking...is there really locked up feeling that I have about a relationship? Is there something I have been avoiding telling an important person in my life (I assume its an important person as I don't really have profound emotions about people that aren't important to me.) I actually spent a little time thinking about this, if there was a danger of me randomly blurting out an important feeling to someone I wanted to know about it before they did. The first thought I had was "I would really like some cottage cheese." However, that was completely unproductive when considering the above statement, so I chose to ignore it (heehee come on laugh, I thought it was funny, and yes that's really the first thing I thought).
This actually proved to be a very productive reflection. I am, sometimes terrifyingly, honest with my friends, at least my very close friends. If I care about someone then I am going to tell them the truth and tell them what I think and feel, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me or them. Its important that people know how you feel about them, so many people live to regret not saying certain things for one reason or another. I have told people I loved them, even when I know they don't love me back (because lets face it who doesn't want to be told that someone loves them); I've told several of my friends that they are ridiculous, or assholish, or self centered. I'm not ashamed of having told some of my friends the things they didn't want to hear (especially the self centered one) because as important as it is to compliment them and tell them nice upbeat things, its also important to tell them the not-so-happy things. Too often it is hard for people to see how their behavior is hurting others, not because they don't care, they are simply just too close to the situation. Sometimes is good for someone else to hold up the mirror to your face, and make you look at the things you didn't want to see. There are very few cases where honesty will ruin a really good friendship. Although I'm more open with some of my friends than others, I still tell all of them the important things, the really meaningful things that I think and feel.
So after all that rambling, I've decided not to worry much about today's horoscope. Maybe there is something that I am just not ready to admit to myself that I feel about someone I know. But on the whole I am confident that they all know the important things that I would have to share with them. Life is just too short to keep things from people you care about.

Just one of those days

2007-08-14T15:29:00.000-06:00

For no good reason I'm very sad today. There is nothing in particular that has gone wrong today or this week, I'm just sad. I think part of it may be that one of my really good friends is going home to Houston. I got to spend some time with her this weekend and last night which is great, but I'm sad that she's leaving again. She makes me laugh, and those people seem to be running short these days. Perhaps that's it. I haven't been able to sit down with friends and just laugh and have fun in a long time. I also finally admitted that some of my friends will just never be there when I need them to be. Perhaps I was demanding to much of them, perhaps they just dont have time...I dont really know and I'm tired of trying to worry about it. Maybe its a good thing, perhaps now I will get better at dealing with my life on my own, and I wont need to turn to anyone but myself for consolation and reassurance. That would certainly be different, who knows...maybe it will be better.
Even as I try to put my finger on it now, sitting here writing, I can't quite decide what is wrong with this day. Maybe its just everything, all the things that didn't happen and should have, all the things I want to happen that never will. Perhaps the weight of all of those things has finally filled me, finally made itself really known. I feel like its choking a part of me, like its stilling the breath in my lungs. Hopefully writing it all down and getting it out will ease that a bit, let me breath around it again.
I have been thinking about my ex a little lately. He called about 2 weeks ago just to talk. We ended, or I should say I ended, the relationship almost a year ago, in September it will be a year. Talking to him made me realize that I do actually miss him. Not really the relationship because that was mostly awful, at least toward the end, but him as a person when things were good and we were friends. I hate that I didn't try harder to stay friends with him. I needed to make a clean break, to move past that part of my life and try to heal some of the damage that was done to my soul, and my heart. That conversation was the first time I've talked to him since last September. I'm sad that it got to that point. It was awkward talking to him, but we talked through it and by the end of the conversation it was better, not great, but better. I hope that we can be friends again, he was a really good friend. It feels good to be able to say that to everyone, and no one. That I can admit that I miss him, but not that I miss him as a boyfriend, that I really do miss him as a friend and know that it is okay. That I don't have to feel any animosity or anger toward him, that part of things is over and I've fixed all that can be fixed at this point. That is just...better. I don't like hating my ex's. Though there is one I will never forgive for what he did, I don't hate him...I pity him.
Hopefully getting all of this out will help, I don't feel like I'm drowning in this feeling anymore and that's always nice. Maybe tonight I will have let some of it go, knowing that its not something I have to worry about. Maybe...

Completion

2007-08-12T20:32:00.000-06:00

Well its finally finished!! After over a month of work the jewelry box that my grandpa and I made is finished. Its a monster lol and much bigger than we ever intended for it to be, but what the heck, I think its completely gorgeous!

A really fun shirt

2007-08-10T14:50:00.000-06:00

For some reason, perhaps just because its Friday, but this t-shirt and the accompanying text made me laugh really hard. (the text is for the fire and water shirt)
Wear this shirt to: your Alchemy Club meetings.
Don’t wear this shirt to: a party at Earth & Air's place. They'll feel snubbed.
This shirt tells the world: "I'd rather be wet than on fire."
We call this color: Hot Wet Asphalt.

MUDD Volleyball

2007-08-03T10:08:00.000-06:00

I love volleyball, it’s my favorite sport followed closely by football of course. I've been playing league grass volleyball since May, and court volleyball before that. It is really my sport of choice. And now I get to add a new dimension...Mud!! The March of Dimes has an annual MUDD volleyball tournament and I'm going to play in it this Saturday! I am really excited to get out there and get dirty for a good cause.
Of course the list of things we need is ridiculous...like shoes and clothes we are completely willing to throw away, and duct tape to keep our shoes on, and garbage bags or plastic for the seats of our cars...what kind of mud is this anyway!!!! Looks like I'll be suffering through a cold hose shower when I get home, cause I'm not cleaning that stuff out of my bathtub if they are telling me it wont rinse out of my shoes! Overall I am actually really looking forward to it, who doesn't like playing in a giant mud pit for a good cause!!!

Progress

2007-07-31T20:10:00.000-06:00

The second image is after the second coat of finish!!! Hooray its almost done!

Projects

2007-07-26T08:45:00.000-06:00

I am a very family oriented type person. There is nothing more important to me than my family, and by this I am including second and third cousins and great aunts and uncles because I know them all. So some people might think its strange that I spend so much time with my grandparents. But I enjoy it...so get over it ;-). My grandpa has a woodworking shop. It isn't huge, but its got enough toys that we can make pretty much any piece of furniture you could ever want (as long as it doesn't need apolstery). He hasn't been able to get into the shop for awhile so he wanted a small project to start back up again. Immediately I put in my request for a jewelry box. Basically there is a waiting list of projects, and it was my turn to have something made, however, getting the box in is cheating because he is starting on my real project (a cedar chest) as soon as we are done with this. So for the last month on weekends and evenings we have been making a jewelry box for me (in canary wood). And last night we finished the construction! All that is left for me is some sanding and putting the finish on. I also carved a wooden rose (in walnut, and yes it really was me that carved it! My first try at carving wood too!) to fix to the top of it. Its a lot bigger than we originally anticipated, and we even included a removable tray on the inside. All in all its a gorgeous box, and it was great that my grandpa and I made it. Now I will always have that from him. I couldn't have asked for a better project.

I shouldn't

2007-07-25T14:00:00.000-06:00

Today is not what I would call one of my best days. This is largley because I had a moment of forgetfullness about why I don't go out on weeknights. My friend was in Denver yesterday which is great cause we haven't been able to hang out much lately. What began as having coffee turned into going with him to Westminster to hang with one of his friends. Under normal circumstances this would have been very awkward for me. I don't generally like to "hang out" with people I dont really know, and am usually very quiet and pretty much just keep to myself in these situations. However, one very strong vodka and cranberry juice tends to loosen even the most rigid of individuals up and I was soon laughing and talking freely with everyone. I actually had a good time (which kind of surprises me...its not that I'm not a nice person or that I don't like parties, its just that I tend not to be particularly accepting of people I don't know), and was rather shocked to look at the clock and see that it was already 11. Just a little side note for you kids, thats REALLY late for Rachel on a weeknight. So we loaded back up into the car (don't worry by this time I was perfectly sober) and drove our happy asses back home. Much to my friends surprise I didn't leave with anyone's number lol.
That little story leads me to my real point. I am completely worthless at work when I've had less than 5 hours of sleep. I am grouchy and feel unproductive, even though I am still getting plenty accomplished. I generally have a very negative attitude about all things in general, yea that's how I feel today. Perhaps the solution is that I need to stay out later more often, I am clearly out of practice.
Nah that wont work, I think my deep enjoyment of sleep would unanimously reject that option. Oh well once in awhile doesn't hurt, and hanging out with this particular friend is always worth it lol.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

2007-07-20T09:32:00.001-06:00

There are several blogs that I read on a regular basis. Sometimes in my wanderings through the blog world of my chosing I come across something that lights my board, or makes me think. One such blog is by my...well she's not really a friend yet, more like an aquaintance, hopefully we will be friends but I digress...anyway her name is Ang. She posted a list of all the things she is grateful for, things that make her happy. This got me thinking about the things that brighten my world (its nice when posts can make you think of happy things). Her list included some deep things like religion, freedoms, and safety. These are all very good things. Unfortunately the more I thought about my list the more I realized the things that make me happy are much more random lol. Not to say that I am not thankful for all of my freedoms, and my relative safety, but in some measure I think I take these things for granted. I think the concepts of freedom and safety are too broad to really and truly make anyone happy. So in the interest of sharing...and in the interest of perpetuating good ideas from other blogs...here are some of the things that made my list (in no particular order):

1. Peanut Butter
2. comfy pj pants
3. really good wine
4. my motorcycle
5. Quarters
6. all of my closest friends (you know who you are...i'm not listing you here just to make you feel important lol)
7. glasses with fun swirly designs
8. anything sparkley or shiney
9. delicate glass objects
10. the complete randomness of the people I hang with
11. Sarcasm
12. Puke and Snot and Dead Bob (No I'm not explaining it...if you don't know I can't help you)
13. Turning any thought into something dirty lol...shut up it makes me smile
14. Oreos and Milk
15. The really squishy mud in river beds, even though it makes your feet smell like dead fish its still feels really cool

So there are some of my thoughts on the things that make me happy in life, the things I am grateful for having. Make your own list...even if you don't post it or comment on it. Just let your mind wander around the things that make you smile even when no one else gets the joke ;-)

The Rose - revised

2007-07-13T12:09:00.000-06:00

Occassionally I like to dust off some of my old poetry and re-work it, keeping what I liked and changing what no longer worked....

The Rose
A lonely stone upon a hill
Dark with night as time stands still.
A saddened place in time and space
The final end to a great race.
See the mist around the ledge,
It hovers like a ghostly hedge,
Upon the ledge there lies in pose
A lonely single bloood red rose.
They weep to see the stone like fire
In the night, a darkened pyre.
It speaks of fear, the end, and grief
Only in final rest is there relief.
The only life to linger here
Is the one thing that sooths the fear,
Upon the ledge there lies in pose
That single lonely blood red rose.
It speaks of life and hope and love,
Lifts us up on wings of doves.
Reminds us all that life abounds
Even on the coldest grounds.
A fragile gift of deepest red
To adorn this lasting bed.
Look and you will see the glow
Of the single lonely blood red rose.

Cream Soda

2007-07-13T11:33:00.000-06:00

My sister and I are prats. Granted we are prats that make each other, and sometimes even other people, laugh really hard. The most recent example of our odd behavior is a conversation we recently had about Cream Soda. Yes, I realize you may be asking yourself how a conversation about cream soda can make two people seem like goobers...but trust me it can. {{at times I may be paraphrasing what was actually said}}
Sister: This had better be fabulous cream soda
Me: Of course it will be...look at the bottle, it screams sophistication.
Sister: {{drinks}}
Me: And...
Sister: Hmmm a very smooth flavor {{smacks lips}} with a rich caramel after taste
Me:{{sips}} you're correct, with a frothy foamy head that is very pleasing, yet not overwhelming.
Sister: This could possibly be one of the best cream sodas I've ever had.
Me: {{pauses}} do you know how many people would think we are goobers for this conversation?
Sister & Me: {{laugh because we know exactly how many people think that}}

We also manage to have very amusing and in depth convsations about what to fix for dinner (so you want potatoes but are making stroganoff...that's too much white on your plate it will look boring, you should probably make a different veggie). One our best friends has a habit of just sitting and staring at us when we go off on tangents like this, she refuses to believe that two human beings can actually talk like that about things as boring as cream soda.

Update: I knew there was a reason I loved my friends...upon reading this post a friend said to me "indeed, i would declare that conversation of my particular caliber of interest and thusly, it seems one of an intelligable nature. i do declare, it is such a glorious achievement in verse that one might say that one's own former expectations of cream soda have been dramatically altered." Hahaha this is why we are friends.

2007-07-09T14:48:00.000-06:00

Its sad how true this little poem is for so many people...

I'm sorry I'll never be thin enough for you

I'm sorry I'll never be perfect enough for you to care about me

I'm sorry I'm too short

I'm sorry my hair is not the right color

I'm sorry my nose is the wrong shape

I'm sorry my breasts are too small

I'm sorry I don't have all the money in the world

But mostly I'm sorry that you will never realize that a wonderful person just walked by you, even if she didn't look like your idea of perfect.

The Powers that Be

2007-07-05T10:34:00.000-06:00

Currently my family and I are fighting the "powers that be." What this means is that we are trying to reincorporate the town in which we live (Franktown) to remove it from country rule. Essentially we are trying to make our town a self governing entity again. And the county commissioners are fighting us...very very hard. According to Colorado state statues any town that was legally recognized as a town prior to 1874 can reorganize and "re-awaken" their incorporation and bypass current state regulations. As it happens Franktown was formally recognized as a town by the territorial government in 1864, so HOORAY! we should be able to incorporate no problem, right? WRONG! The problem we have been slammed up against is that there are a number of "large landowners" in Franktown with more money than you can shake a stick at that don't want us to incorporate. To give you an idea of what we are doing, the original town of Franktown (then Frankstown) was a mile square...think about it people, all I'm talking about here is incorporating a mile square of land. This square mile has 20 "official" registered voters. However, the landowners up to 10 miles away from the area we are trying to incorporate have a BIG problem with what we are trying to do. So to stop us, they are using their financial weight to sway the commissioners to their side. These people, who haven't lived in Franktown for more than 5 or 6 years, and have no appreciation for what we are trying to do, are trying to kill our hopes of self government. Their reasoning...they don't want Franktown to grow...EVER. They don't want new businesses, or a change in the landscape that they can view from their quarter million dollar home in the trees. You may be wondering why I'm so totally opposed to their view of the situation. Let me elaborate. My family has lived in Franktown for over 100 years. So while these people are complaining that they don't want their view ruined, they fail to realize (or realize and don't care) that when the 3 story monstrosity they call a home they completely decimated the view from our house. They don't want to understand that by incorporating we are trying to save our town. Save it from being swallowed by Castle Rock, or Parker, or even Elizabeth someday. We want Franktown to stay Franktown, we don't want it to dry up and become a ghost town and we don't want it to lose its identity to one of the bigger cities that every day creeps closer to our borders. Franktown is still a small town, one of the few left this close to Denver, and now we might lose it forever. When we filed legal action in District Court a few weeks ago, the County Commissioners filed a petition with the State Secretary to abandon the town of Franktown, as well as several other small hamlets within Douglas County. They want to officially declare us non-entities, they want to say we are not now, nor can we ever be an "official" town. Perhaps its just me, but this is very reminiscent of a 3 year old throwing a fit. The citizens of Frankstown are standing together and telling the county seat that we wont be told what we can do with our land, or risk having our land condemned so that they wealthy newcomers can have a pretty park against the river (which is what they are threatening to do with my families land). And because we are a perceived threat to their autonomous power they are trying to say we never existed. It saddens me more ever day that our government can be bought. That it isn't always about the rights of the people, be they the few or the many, its about the rights of those with the deepest pockets. That people can have more respect for a dollar, then they do for a town with 120 + years of history that will just fade away into nothingness if we don't do something for it. I want anyone who reads this to ask yourself, what would you do to save your town. Is the place you live important enough to fight for? We know our town is worth fighting to save, even if we lose the fight in the end, at least we'll know we tried.

2007-06-07T14:19:00.000-06:00

Perhaps you remember, or perhaps not, my mention of a date I was supposed to have back in December (wow that seems like a long time ago heehee) with Aaron. Well we are finally going to give that a go tonight. There will be pasta involved, and cheesecake...mmm cheesecake...and perhaps some random fun on his radio show afterwards. It should be a good time. You should listen in, it might be interesting!

Family Reunion

2007-06-03T20:19:00.000-06:00

We had a family reunion today. Now most people would cringe and tell me how sorry they are that I had to attend such an event. However, I must tell you that I absolutely love when we all get together (well at least this side of my family). We laughed so hard all day that my face hurts. We also played a rousing game of lawn darts. Yes, I know you aren't supposed to have them anymore...but its still a fun game.

This is my uncle Rob...he was very good at lawn darts (I really suck by the way). We had second cousins, great uncles and aunts, girlfriends, and other various extended family members. Its a great time. So withouth further ado some more pictures of the day.

I got to be the grill master!!

The food was great. And there was a lot of it. In fact I think we still have a lot of it left.

Ya know, lawn darts really isn't that exciting to watch...but we tried.

Uncle Rob decided it would be a good idea to tackle Great Aunt Betty after she beat him in lawn darts. She was definitley winning at this point in the proceedings though.

It was a really good day. And I can't say anything bad about family reunions!

Sugar and Spice

2007-05-14T11:11:00.000-06:00

So as it turns out I've been very angry lately. For no good reason, with no excuses to offer for myself I've just been angry. Between an ex that doesn't know how to quit while he's ahead and other vague and uninteresting problems with my life, there never seems to be a time when I can just cool down and simply enjoy things the way they are. One alarmingly noticable incident of my growing hostility came last week. I just wanted wine with dinner. Just a nice glass of white wine that I've been saving for the last 6 months for no special reason. It of course was not chilled. Fine! Stick it in the fridge and get dinner going, I have a wine chiller (which is a fabulous investment by the way) so its not a crisis situation. So 20 minutes later when my pasta is ready and salad made I take out the wine chiller. Clearly the bottle in the fridge is not ready so a quick round in the newest gadget is warranted. And low and behold the power cable is no where to be found. Are you kidding me?! I just used the thing 2 days ago and now the stupid cord has magically disappared! Long story short this episode turned into a 15 minute search for the cord, determined to find it. Still didn't find it, by that time dinner was completely cold and no longer appetizing at all (I made the meal to go with the wine, no wine...no meal). So I trashed the whole idea and that was that.
Yes, I realize looking back on it now, I may have over-reacted just a tad...okay a lot. But that gives you an example of my state of mind lately. And that is about average, there have been worse episodes and there have been less dramatic ones ( those usually involve me muttering insulting or unfriendly things under my breath to people who I'm not totally sure were trying to offend me in any way), but generally that's been about the norm. You can imagine how much fun this has been for my friends/family. But they love me anyway (mostly).
And then this weekend the awful feeling just kind of evaporated. I don't know where it went, and certainly don't want it back. Partially responsible for this change in mood is a...what I can only call acceptance...of the way things are. I spend too much time trying to fix things, line things up in neat rows so that I know what to expect and know for sure that I'm in charge. Then I realized I'm not in charge. Not all the time anyway. And every time I try to stack the deck, or make others play the game my way I lose, and I'm talking big time lose. So I decided, the hell with that. I'm happy with me, who and what I am. I love my job, despite all of the crap that can go on there. Life right now, for me, is pretty good. And once I let go of that need to know everything, things just felt better. I agreed to go on a double date with a guy I hardly know, which I have here to for refused to do because of previously mentioned reasons, and it was actually a lot of fun. And as he pointed out (and surprisingly it didn't totally piss me off) I was very friendly and very funny, and actually a sweet person when I wasn't trying to be such a bitch. So yay me!
So for any one who has noticed the increase in my vile moods, or had to suffer through hearing about them, I apologize. At least for the moment I am much better, and sincerely hope to remain that way, at least for awhile. I mean lets face it I can't be nice all the time...what would people think of me LOL.

Have you ever?

2007-05-10T14:08:00.000-06:00

Its been one of those days. Nothing seems remotely interesting, and though I've run around like a crazy person all day trying to get crap done it feels as though I've accomplished absolutely nothing. Some days just turn out to be sadly unfulling, and usually leave you wanting more. There have been highlights in my day, I have a lifesize carboard image of D-Wade (he's a basketball player) and today my cube-mate Adam and I took turns shooting him with an airsoft gun, yea that was a good time. Just wondering if you've ever had one of those days, and any advice for getting out of that funk.

Lookey here!

2007-04-16T10:26:00.000-06:00

Yup your eyes are true. I cut 7 inches off of my hair on saturday! Its super cute! Hooray! LOL

UPDATE: New Toy!!!

2007-03-28T15:57:00.000-06:00

Here is a picture of me and my new bike!

2007-03-26T19:09:00.001-06:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

New Toy!!

2007-03-26T14:05:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official. I bought a motorcycle this weekend. I know what you may be saying (something along the lines of crazy B$*%&). But I honestly do love it! At first I thought I was settling because it wasn't exactly the one that I was originally looking at buying. Then I took it out and learned to ride on it. And I must admit it is amazing!! I should be riding like a pro in no time. Well maybe not a pro, but at least really well. Everyone was very suprised, and very impressed that I learned to ride so quickly. I still need to get my permit, and then my motorcycle endorsment, but i should be ready for that in no time too! Anyway I was really excited (now that I've officially made the decision) so I thought I would share! Here are a few pics of what my bike looks like. Obviously they aren't my actual bike, but mine is the exact same color. I will have pics of me riding it soon!!

Just to make you smile

2007-03-14T13:51:00.000-06:00

You can't look at this picture and tell me it's not totally precious!

Fitzy the Sloth

2007-03-13T15:46:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time in a place not so far from here, there was a bornean tree sloth named edgar fitzgerald. Fitzy, as his friends (of which there weren't many) liked to call him, wasn't a handsome sloth, but he was kind and funny if you could pay attention long enough to hear the joke. Fitzy made his home in a very fine cecropia tree, with a big wide trunk and lucious green leaves. But the thing that made Fitzy different from all the other sloths was that he loved to sing. He had a deep baritone singing voice that should have made all of the girl sloths crazy, but more often than not just made them look at him oddly and whisper to each other about him. Now it could be that Fitzy's choices of songs weren't particularly popular, most sloths generally enjoy old ballads and soft lilting lyrics, but Fitzy had a style all his own. He had invented a kind of wild ride between jazz and reggae, it was fast paced and it was fun. No one really knows where Fitzy found the energy for these belting solos, but when the urge took him, nothing could slow him down. It was during one of these rousing performances that Fitzy sensed someone watching him. Not being the quickest of creatures, he looked around lazily, curiously trying to determine what might be making him feel this way. Then he saw it. A young leapord crouched in a tree, not 100 yards away from the boogying sloth. Unable to run away, Fitzy decided to try a different tactic. "Hey there spots!" he called out, "you got something hanging on your but." A low rumble started to eminate from the cat, and Fitzy had just about given himself up for dead, when he realized that he cat was laughing, swinging his majestic tail (the source of Fitzy's joke). The cat had actually been enjoying the music, for it is obvious that leapords are true swingers and love jazz, and had not even thought about eating this musical morsel. Jumping gracefully from one true to the other (a skill which the sloth envied very much) the leapord, whose name was Clarence, stalked over to Fitzy. Then with his tail he started thumping out a low beat on the trunk of the tree. Fitzy was overjoyed! He had never found someone that liked his music, let alone wanted to participate in making it. After several bars Fitzy started to belt out his favorite song. After five breathless minutes the song ended and the two of them slumped against the tree laughing. This was the life! Fitzy thought. Then the leapord said something remarkable. "I'm starting a jungle jazz club (the name of which is Jungle Jazz), and I would like you to headline for us!" Fitzy could only stare open mouthed at this huge cat, was he really offering him a chance to perform? "I will personally see to your transportation, and your safety," said Clarence. Well, as you can imagine, Fitzy could hardly pack fast enough. After several months Fitzy's popularity had grown to phenominal proportions, and he found a very attracitve monkey girlfriend named Lola. He never thought about those clueless sloths, who by this time were green with envy (and algea). Fitzy the star had arrived!

Law Dogs Forever...Forever Law Dogs.

2007-02-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hooray for motorcycle clubs! Two of my best friends have started a chapter of the Law Dogs Motorcycle Club for Colorado. The short version is that it is a club for law enforcement officers, and those who respect what they do. The clubs goals are to promote safe and moral riding, a love of motorcycles, and to contribute in any way possible to the charitable organizations of our choosing. So as this post obviously implies, I have joined the High Plains Law Dogs MC. At the moment I'm just a Lady (a rider because I don't have my own bike yet) but someday I'll get to move my status up in the world {wink}. I'm also the club photographer, so it’s my job to catch people doing ridiculous, funny, and or memorable things without them noticing it! Good luck me. As a shameless plug for our group, we are hosting an event on St. Patrick’s Day. We are holding our first annual Poker Run in Eastern Colorado to benefit the Fallen Officers Memorial Fund. It should be a fabulous day of riding (or driving, you can bring a car if you want!) so you should definitely come out and hang with us. End shameless plug.
And now for something completely different. It DIDN'T snow this weekend!!! YAY!! Of course it still snowed some during the week...Thursday to be precise, but it wasn't the weekend and that means things are looking up. Plus the fat ground hog didn't see his shadow (mindless thought: what if the Phil is a liar, you know he is in that little fake tree trunk laughing his furry butt off at us right now) so perhaps we will have an early spring. This in Colorado seems to mean that instead of winter ending in June, this year maybe it will end in May. But on the up side, when Spring does decide to make an appearance everything will be greener than a leprechauns as....I mean its going to be really green here in the spring!

Paris

2006-12-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

So last night I met up with two of my dearest friends at Paris on the Platte. Its a wine bar/coffee house, and it has a great atmosphere. They have a pretty decent wine selection (if you like Rieslings there is a good one from Colorado called Two Rivers) and some excellent martinis. Of which we par-took in liberally. I fancied the Godiva Chocolate Espresso and one called Frolic, they were amazing and I highly recommend. David had a Vesper, but that was just to irritate Toby, so we aren't going to count that one. I adore my friends; they make me laugh entirely too hard. Between the Louis Black impressions and Borat impressions we spent the majority of the night helplessly laughing at one another. It was tremendous. After several of these tasty cocktails we decided that a walk was in order to wear off all of the alcohol before deciding to drive home. The walk was almost as much fun, if not more fun, than the wine bar itself. Denver is a beautiful city. I don't care what anyone else thinks, if you really stop and take the time to look at what is surrounding you here you'll see what I mean. David, Toby, and I managed to find our dream loft, and plan on moving in as soon as the two of them decide they just can't live without Colorado and move back ;-) Yea that should be any day now, right? Although directions to our house would probably include the phrase "drive toward the gigantic white erection" (trust me if you were there it was hilarious) it would still be a fabulous place to live.

It was just really great to be immersed in a place with such great night life...or any sort of night life at all. It was very cold, but that crisp kind of cold that makes the lights shimmer and everything seem more alive. There was a point that we were walking across a footbridge over the Platte River, and you could hear the water rushing by underneath, and see the lights of downtown Denver welcoming you to the fold, and it was just so....beautiful, and fun, and exactly what I'd wanted out of the day. A peaceful moment in a city full of life and movement.

To break the eloquent, flowing propaganda that has become this post, I will change the subject. David, who manages to find some of the most random things I've ever seen, introduced Toby and I to a radio show that he occasionally calls in to. To make what seems like a very long story now that I'm attempting to write it down shorter, the three of us ended up on the radio show and I managed to get a date with the host (don't look at me like that, you weren't there). At this point I would like to be able to tell you about the fabulous time I had with Aaron, however, we will have to wait until March as he is leaving for Manila tomorrow, but hey it could be fun! If you feel like it check out the radio show (it seems that I am actually going to be listening to it, and perhaps calling in (Toby as well...blame David Aaron, he started it)...so you might as well partake in the fun!) Okay well work is calling me. I'll post some fun pictures of the evening later!

Thanksgiving

2006-11-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hooray for a sense of accomplishment. Yesterday, officially, our kitchen (and I say our because i live with my grandma, which I enjoy very much) was finally finished!! It is gorgeous, completely transforms the house, and I picked out the wall color. In reality I have no particular reason to feel any sort of accomplishment for the completion of the kitchen. I did do some of the work, nothing excersises angry demons like taking a sledge hammer to your old counters, while they're still attached to the wall. But what the heck, I helped so I'm going to feel proud that its finished. This great news means that we will be able to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house, as has become a custom over the last couple of years. Thanksgiving is always a lot of fun and you should use this time of year to learn things about your famiy. For example:
We play card cames. For hours and with a voracity that one might normally associate with pro sports. We also play cards when there is alcohol involved. "first blood!" is a phrase commonly heard around the card table, this means that someone has been injured in the process of playing whatever card game we happen to be playing, this usually occurs during spoons.
Some people refuse to be cheerful. There are just some members of my family that refuse to be cheerful no matter what we do to them/with them.
If you give someone and extendable fork, they will use it to stab you from across the table. My stepdad who is renowned for his ability to eat off of everyone elses plate was given an extendable fork for Christmas several years ago to make this process easier for him. Now it has become a game to give the fork to random people at the table and see who gets stabbed with the amazing long fork first.
These extra special glimpses into what Thanksgiving dinner is like at my house should hopefully spark some imaginative efforts on your part to observe and record all of your love one's exentricities and share them with the world. Its just more fun if we can all laugh at each other together!

Revelation

2006-11-13T14:07:00.000-07:00

I have come to a revelation. I thrive on stress. Although this particular tidbit of information probably doesn't come as a shock to some people, lest of all me, the realization of it does explain a few things about the way I live, and now apparently work. The high stress, deadline oriented environment in which I now find myself is turning out to be ideal working conditions. The constant threat of failure is a fabulous motivator, and is helping me turn out some of my best work ever. Although the gnawing, stomach churning feeling that I have forgotten something really important has taken some getting used to, I actually quite like the rest of it. Althought occassionally my inner history geek feels compelled to make an apperance at work (for those that don't know I work at the corporate office of a sporting good meca, making this apperances supremely random and causing my co-workers to stare at me blankely). The most recent example of this was the frantic rush and worry that accompanies black friday. Now when I first heard the term "black friday" being whispered around the office like some great god, or reverant diety, my immediate thought was..."why are they so concerened about the day the stock market crashed?" There is salvation for me though, as I happen to work with a fellow geek. Who saved me from terrible embarassment by voicing this concern to the other peole I work with, by informing me that this in fact refers to the day after Thanksgiving, the first day of the holiday shopping season. Who would have thought. I always did like learning new things.

Hooray for concerts!!

2006-11-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Toby and I went to see Gomez at the Fillmore. Needless to say it was an amazing show. But the opening act really impressed both Toby and I. Here is a little video of them. Their names are Rodrigo and Gabriela and their band is self titled (Rodrigo y Gabriela). Enjoy!

Observations

2006-09-27T11:14:00.000-06:00

1. People like you more when they know you're leaving.
This is something that I have noticed recently do to my exodus from the state of Nebraska. Within the last 3 weeks I've eatin more cake, had more alcohol purchased for me, and generally been hugged a lot more since people found out I'm leaving. This only leads me to believe that people must like you more when they know they wont ever see you again. Most would look at these kind gestures as people's way of showing you they cared about you and enjoyed having you around. But not me. I look at these things and say why was I not good enough to take to lunch when you thought I would be around for a couple of years? Always the master of the glass is half empty philosphy I pose this statement. People just like you better when they know your leaving.

2. People like you stuff a lot more when your leaving.
Also something I've noticed recently. I've gotten a lot of compliments on the random assorment of things I have in my office. They are just trinkets really, things that make me happy to look at them, and no one has ever really paid that much attention to them before. However, no every second person coming into my office comments on at least two or three of the decorations. The only resonable conclusion that I can come to is this is their subtle way of offering to eliviate my removing it from the building and packing it up. The old "Hey I really like that {{inner monoluge...I'd sure take it off your hands if you wanna give it to me}}" trick. This is a ploy I find highly amusing, and also a really convieniet way to make some money. "You know if you really like it I'll sell it to you for..." Yea..good stuff.

Just for fun...

2006-09-20T15:27:00.000-06:00

For no other reason then I just really like watching this...

CATS!

2006-09-14T11:32:00.000-06:00

So last Friday my family got tickets to see CATS at the Denver Center for Performing Arts. All I can say is that it was AMAZING. Its been my #1 goal in life (not even kidding it really has been) to see CATS, and now I've done it...its a very accomplished sort of feeling. So now we are looking at getting season tickets for next year, but don't know if that is going to happen as they are $570 and that's a little out of my price range out of the moment. But it does include some great plays, and discounts on tickets to non-package plays like Lion King and Phantom of the Opera..so I guess we'll see what happens. But if you ever have the chance to see CATS do it, its totally worth it.

A new journey

2006-09-07T13:57:00.000-06:00

Well its official. My last day of work is September 29th. That weekend I'll be moving to Franktown to live with my grandma until I can afford my own apartment. I think I probably have a job with Lakeshore Staffing. Its a temp agency, but it will be good for a temporary fix until they either place me permenantly or I find something better. I'm still scared out of my mind, well more nervous than anything. But just wanted to update on the new chapter in my life. It will be nice to be back in Colorado where I belong.

Friends

2006-08-24T10:25:00.000-06:00

So it seems that I have the uncanny ability to inspire strangers to pick on me. These last few days I was at a conference in Kearney, NE focusing on noxious weeds invading riverbeds. I know no one else will think this is stimulating, but actually it was really interesting. Anyway we took a little field trip to the Platte River to look at some of the weeds down there. I bent over to roll up my jeans so that I wouldn't get them caught on anything and fall down, and some lady that I had just met reached over and poured REALLY cold water down the back of my pants. I thought "great, now it looks like I peed my pants, just what I wanted in a crowd of 200 strangers." I turned to say that exact thought to the one person I actually knew at the conference, when another guy I have never met before, didn't even know his name, picked me up and dropped me in the river. Fully clothed in the middle of an informational tour, I managed to get thrown in the river. Needless to say every one else thought it was hilarious, and I even managed a chuckle. But I was completely uncomfortable for the rest of the tour. Just goes to prove that you can't ever let your guard down, even when you think your safe, someone may just sneak up on you and throw you in a river.

Meet the bands!

2006-08-14T09:18:00.000-06:00

Alright so I know that most of the people that read this blog are not going to care. Mostly because almost none of them have any inclination to listen to country music. However, I was really excited so I'm going to tell you about it anyway.
Being the loving caring person that I am I volunteered to help usher during the Box Butte County fair. There were a few immediate pluses to this. 1) I got in to all of the events free (motorcross, demolition derby, and CONCERT); 2) I got to yell at people for being stupid in the stands, and even kicked a few people out...it was a good time. The major perk was that all of the ushers got to visit the bands in their trailors and hang out with them. The 2 bands of the evening were Ricochet and Confederate Railroad. They were both AWESOME! and autographed everything we put in front of them. They were also good enough to take pictures with us! Anyway I know it wont impress anyone but me, but I was super excited and just thought I would share.

Vacation

2006-08-04T14:28:00.000-06:00

Hooray for vacation!! Its really sad when its over though. I spent a couple of days in South Dakota with my sister and some good friends riding motorcycles. I think I'm going to have to break down and by myself my own (evil laugh) cause they are really really fun, and you can't beat the gas mileage. It rained a lot, but even that wasn't too shabby. We also went to Sturgis, and even though the rally doesn't officially start until tomorrow it sure was a good time! Heehee.

Fire

2006-08-02T09:46:00.000-06:00

This is a video of the Spotted Tail fire as it raced over the hill toward Chadron State College, shot by Jim Manternach with the Emergency Management Response Agency. For those of you that don't know I work in Chadron, and Chadron state college sits at the south edge of the town. They evactuated about half of the town. Fortunately they were able to backfire into the oncoming flames and keep the wildfire from entering town. As of today they are estimating that around 30,000 acres were damaged by this ONE wildfire. Current estimates for total damage from all 6 wildfires is not yet known. So far only 4 houses have been destroyed, thankfully. I'll try to get some more pictures of the Shanook helicopters, slurry bombers, and firefighters on here later. My boss is up in a Forest Service helicopter right now assessing, and viewing the damage, so I should have some good pictures from that as well.
Just a big shout out to all the firefighters (400 of them) that worked so hard to save Chadron, Thank you guys so much, we wouldn't have made it without you.

Oh Ick

2006-07-19T14:13:00.000-06:00

At this beginning of this week I traveled to Niobrara State Park for a meeting with some of my counter parts from other NRDs. You must understand that these people all have a sick sense of humor (heehee) and have a seemingly unlimited tolerance for alcohol. The combination of these two things lead us to a taste test of frogs legs. I will tell you right now...ick. It wouldn't be so bad if they removed the meat and breaded it up like popcorn shrimp. No they must bring out the entire lower half of the frog, feet still attached. I think that makes it more unpalatable than anything else. But I was a brave soul and I tasted it. Never doing that again.

My own Phlog!

2006-07-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

Well following in the footsteps of Rick Lee, Toby, and Jared, I have my own Phlog! Go ahead, check it out, you know you want to!

Painting

2006-07-10T09:57:00.000-06:00

Okay so it seems that I am on a blogging role today, so I might as well keep it up. Over the weekend I got bored (as sometimes happens) so I decided to do some painting. I went out and grabed a couple of pieces of old corral wood, sanded them, varnished them, and decided to paint something on them. I used oils and this is what turned out. Not to bad for my first attempt at a sunset. Yes, I do realize it looks like a rainbow, but keep in mind..it was a first try! :-)

Update: I fixed it last night so that the sunset no longer looks so much like a rainbow, hooray for oil paints! you can always go back and fix what you've screwed up!

Update

2006-07-10T08:57:00.000-06:00

So I was telling you about a painting I am thinking about buying. Well Ron finally got his website up and running so I can show you the painting! Just an FYI in Gallery number 2 I think there are a few paintings that Jared, Toby, and John would like. Just passin it on. Anyway this is the painting I want to buy, its called Crystal Clear Rhapsody.

Umm

2006-07-10T08:41:00.000-06:00

Its crazy what you can find on the internet isn't it. Apparently my headstone is located in Texas. There's usually the chance that somewhere out there someone has or has had the exact same name as you, it is a little unsetteling to see your own name on a headstone though heehee.

Pretty good holiday

2006-07-05T14:02:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a really great 4th of July! Mine was actually really good. I got to ride on a Percheron (really big draft horses, like the Budwieser horses) in the Parade in Crawford, NE. That was great. He's about 19 hands tall, so when I stood next to him I was basically looking at the middle of his stomach, and really wide. I am a little saddle sore today, it was kind of like doing the splits for 3 hours heehee, but totally worth it! The picture is almost exactly the height (he's a little taller) and build of the Percheron that I rode in the parade
I also went to an art show and managed to talk myself into buying a $400 original oil painting. Its gorgeous and as soon as I have a picture of it I'll post it so you can see my new buy! I really really couldn't resist. The artist's name is Ron Nordyke, and as soon as his website is working again I'll put that up here too! He's even going to let me make payments on it so that the price tag doesn't infringe upon me buying it heehee.

Pictures

2006-05-31T13:55:00.000-06:00

I've posted a BUNCH of pictures on my Flickr, including my tanking adventure, Hiking in Estes, and some pretty pictures...check it out, you know you want too

Its Monday

2006-05-22T08:58:00.000-06:00

For the first time in my life I'm glad its Monday. This weekend turned out to be total crap. Thrus and Fri I was sick sick, then Saturday one of my dogs got caught in the powercord for my laptop and pulled it off of the desk so its now broken. Then yesterday I got thrown off of Applesauce, my horse. All around it was just a horrible weekend, I sure hope the next one turns out better.

Presenting the one...the only ...

2006-05-04T11:46:00.000-06:00

I HAVE MY OWN HORSE!!! For anyone that knows me you will probably realize that I am very excited about this. I've wanted my own horse for as long as I can remember and now I have one. His name is Applesauce and he is a mustang. He was taken out of the wild in Wyoming about 3 years ago. Right now I'm retraining him to the saddle, and also teaching him some basic commands and reigning techniques that he never had to learn before. He is doing very well and I've actually been able to get on him a few times without him throwing to much of a fit. A good accomplishment I thought. He is around 6 years old now. Still in the prime of life but old enough not to be crazy anymore. And the best part....He was FREE! One of my friends adopted him out of the wild when nobody else wanted him. They no longer have time to ride him or work with him so they gave him to me. Now you may be saying how could it get any better?! Well let me tell you. Another one of my really good friends gave me a saddle for my birthday. So now I can ride him without hanging on to his mane, or falling off! Hooray. Always cause for celebration. That's about all the exciting news here, besides the fact that its May and now its snowing. Sad Day.

April is OVER!

2006-05-01T08:49:00.000-06:00

Well I must say that I am very pleased that April is over. Although it didn't really produce anything super exciting, it was unbelievably busy. I spent the last 3 days of April at another grant writing workshop. I've decided I'm going to take this up as a side business. Where else can you make $3,000 for writing a proposal and doing some reasearch. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Up it sure does. Any way just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive and kicking!

Oh Happy Day!

2006-04-06T10:38:00.000-06:00

Today, I, and everyone in my office, had a startling revelation! We have a Starbucks in Chadron. Now I realize that this is fairly mundane news for most people. You're probably thinking to yourselves "Yea its a Starbucks...so what, big deal...they're everywhere." Not so my friends. Prior to this glorious development the closest Starbucks to Chadron Nebraska was either Rapid City South Dakota, or Cheyenne Wyoming. So we had a small field trip to our new local Starbucks where I purchased the first Caramel Macchiato that I've had in almost 3 months. Its gonna be a great day folks!

External Hard Drive

2006-04-05T16:36:00.000-06:00

So here is my question for all of you out there. I am thinking about getting an external hard drive for my laptop. It just doesn't have the space for the things I need it to do. The two I'm currently looking at are:

AcomData E5 80GB

AcomData E5 160GB

Both are plug & play capable (a requirment) and don't require a huge amount of space on the origianl machine. Does anyone have experience with this company? If I'm going to spend the money for one I want one that's worth it. I've heard AcomData is a good company, but nothing for sure. Any advice would be great!

Times Square

2006-04-04T09:56:00.000-06:00

You may remember me mentioning that a picture of my friend Randi and I is going to be 50 feet tall on a billboard in Times Square. Well here it is folks! That really fun moment has finally arrived. That picture will be on screen for 15 seconds every day for 5 days! And next week a picture of my little brother and I is going to be up there. I'm still going to submit the picture of Tanis, Jared, Toby, and I at Red Robin and see what happens. Heehee. If that comes about I will certainly let you all know!

Hurry up and wait

2006-04-04T08:33:00.000-06:00

Today looks like its going to be a very slow day. I have a meeting this afternoon but over 3/4 of my office will be gone to another meeting in another town. Any clever ideas on how Rachel could spend her day, cause I think I'm gonna run out.

Just as a random piece of information my birthday is coming up soon (as I do a small happy dance). I love birthdays for no other reason than my entire family gets together and we all play cards and drink wine. No matter who's birthday we always do it. My family will take any excuse to get together heehee. This year I think we're even including the fire pit! oooo I'm soo excited! Heehee.

You'll laugh...and cry

2006-03-31T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious, but also makes you sad for the little fellow...

Everyone else has had more sex than me

hat tip to Toby for showing me this!

Things that make you say hmmmm

2006-03-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

This just in...some exciting news on the home front: Rachel is now an officially published photographer {cheering in the background}. The Department for Environmental Quality is going to be using one of my pictures in their national newsletter. Seemingly insignificant, but out of the 124,000 photos that are submitted for each edition mine was picked. Not to shabby I'd say. Work is good, but crazy, I'm leaving today for a 3 day grant writing workshop (part of a 3 session class) in Broken Bow, NE. Not exactly a garden spot, but I'm paying them $500 to teach me how to do this, so I guess I will go wherever they say to go. So if any of you need grants (after may cause that's when the class ends) you can let me know and I will hook you up! Not that its really that big of a deal, but I was voted onto the Board of Directors for a non profit organization in Chadron that deals with noxious weeds. Not super stimulating all the time, but it does make me a director, and I get a per deim and everything.
One of my friends has a job setting up a website for nationwide for their Life comes at you fast campaign. It is linked to a billboard in time square. So yes, a picture of me and my best friend is going to be 50 feet tall in Time Square. I think I'm gonna just pretend he didn't do that to me lol. Just FYI the picture of Toby, Jared, Tanis and I with the Red Robin bird was a close runner up! Maybe next time ;-)

Mindless Ramblings...

2006-03-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

So, of course, there is no real purpose for this post. I have to kill some time at work before I go and set up a display board for a trade show this weekend. Who's excited that Rachel has to work every weekend in March. Not me, that's for damn sure. On the up side, it will produce some excellent comp time. I will be able to take a whole week off work by the time this is done heehee. So I guess that's a plus. I'm making a whirlwind trip to Colorado this weekend to see Flogging Molly in concert (they are an Irish punk band) and I'm super excited, but like I said I have to work this weekend so it will be an amazingly quick trip. To add to that Bob is all kinds of pissed off at me for going to Colorado. This is a whole completely different topic that would take me a great deal of time to explain, and nobody really wants to hear about it anyway. So that is stressing me out a bit. He is stressin because one of the jobs he wanted in Colorado hasn't called him back yet...it hasn't even been a week, and he failed to ask them when they would be getting back in touch with him. Grrrrrr. Anyway those are my pointless ramblings for the day. Perhaps I will write more later...

So Now...

2006-02-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well there have been new developments on the "Rachel's life" front. We went down to Colorado this weekend so Bob could interview for a job down there. Looks fairly promising and I'm pretty sure the decision has been made that we will be moving back down to Colorado. So now all of you who have been pestering me to come back will finally get your wish heehee. There is actually a job in Burlington almost exactly like the one I have, that I am thinking about applying for. So yeah that would be great. As much as I hate to say it, cause I really should have been more supportive, I am really glad that Bob didn't get the job he applied for in Eastern Nebraska. That would have been really far away, and absolutely no fun at all. My new puppies are still doing really really well, they've decided that they like walks and sleeping in the car. Although that makes them want to stay up and play all night..not good, not good at all. My job in Nebraska is still going really well, I'm starting to get SUPER busy, which is nice. As developments unfold I will let you know!!

Oh Yeah!! Before I forget, for those of you that know me, I got another 5 inches cut off of my hair this weekend! It hits my shoulders now, and I had a dark brown, a golden brown, and auburn lowlights put in. Its way different, but I LOVE it...heehee fun with paintshop ;-D

2006-02-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

"The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up." So here is mine...Rachel's Johari Window

Thanks Toby! for the idea...and Chelsea for showin it to Toby heehee.

New Puppies

2006-02-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

My new puppies. They are black lab border collie mixes. They are brother and sister, and their coloring is so identical that the only way we can tell who's who is the fact that the boy is a little bigger. We named them Bella and Blazer. Blazer at the top, and Bella is below.

This is Bella, she's a precious girl. And very spunky. She beats up on her brother a lot.

This is Blazer. He is a mama's boy, and he sure loves his new blue ball. Of course its not gonna be blue when he pulls all the fuzz off. But whatever makes him happy!

Incoming!

2006-02-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

Oooo look it look it ...yup its headed right for me. They are predicting up to 11 inches of accumulation by tomorrow night. Interesting huh...

Needless to say I dont really like the snow. I especially don't like having to drive 50 miles to work in it. Maybe I will get to stay home tomorrow...hmmm an interesting idea...

Because you wanted to know...

2006-02-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Water Displacement #40
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.
Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.
The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts. The workers were so pleased with the product, they began smuggling (also known as "shrinkage" or "stealing") it out to use at home.
The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest, as they say, is history.
It is a carefully guarded recipe known only to four people. Only one of them is the "brew master."
There are about 2.5 million gallons of the stuff manufactured each year. It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.
Here are some of the uses:
When you read the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle!
Then try it on your stovetop...Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.
Protects silver from tarnishing.
Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
Keeps flies off cows.
Restores and cleans chalkboards.
Removes lipstick stains.
Loosens stubborn zippers.
Untangles jewelry chains.
Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
Removes tomato stains from clothing.
Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
Keeps scissors working smoothly.
Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.
Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.
Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
Removes splattered grease on stove.
Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
Removes all traces of duct tape.
Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
Florida's favorite use is: "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers."
The favorite use in the state of New York -- WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time.
Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately, and stops the itch.
WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.
It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks off flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
P.S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL

Sad Day

2006-02-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

Depression has begun to set in. Friday my two dogs got out of their kennel and ran off. We live out in the country so there are any number of places that they could be, and our chances of finding them are getting slimmer every day. Its been below freezing up here the last couple of nights and I'm beginning to think they might not have made it. For anyone that knows me, this realization is wrecking havoc on my emotional well being. I am incredibly attached to my pets and there will be a big hole in my heart if we can't find them. I'm still harboring hope that somebody will find them and call me, but I don't think its gonna happen {sniff}. So needless to say it has not been a good week.
On another note, haven't decided whether its good or bad yet, my boyfriend is thinking about taking a job 6 hours away from me. We have decided that I will stay in Western Nebraska, with my job for at least another 6 months, during which time he will be in Eastern Nebraska. Hopefully he will love that job and I can get a job and stay there. But this is the very last time I'm moving because of his jobs. He can stay for mine next time and just be happy with it damn it. Well enough of the pity party for me. I'll post if I find out anything about my dogs!

2006-02-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

Mayra came all the way from D.C to see us..its cause she loves us, we know..

ooo Mayra's soo sexy hehe

2006-02-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

Seemed like a good time for a girls night out!

all the girls

2006-02-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hooray for Coyote Ugly on the 16th Street Mall...yeah we had a good time...

Dancin on the bar...ohh good times

Red Rose

2006-01-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

A lonely stone upon a hill
Dark with night as time stands still.
A desperate place in time and space
The final end to a great race

See the mist around the ledge
It hovers like a ghostly hedge
Upon the ledge there lies in pose
A single red rose

They weep to see the stone of fire
In the night, a darkened pyre
It speaks of fear, the end, and grief
In final rest there's no relief

The only life to linger here
Is the only thing that sooths the fear
Upon the ledge there lies in pose
A red, red rose

Alrighty

2006-01-20T14:47:00.000-07:00

Well I've decided that I need a place to write. Nothing specific, probably nothing meanigful to anyone but me. These writing may include but are not limited to: my poetry, my short stories, pictures I've drawn, general musing about my life around me, vicious comments about those individuals that just piss me off...you get the general idea. Feel free to comment on things that strike you, or don't strike you ( no one really likes violence after all). Don't be offended if I dont like what you say, or decide not to respond to it, I'm opinionated and that's that. Well if you do decide to read this, enjoy..or not...doesn't really matter to me ;~)